Judy
“Timing Is Everything In Life”
I was laid off in 2016 but stayed nine months during a transition, so I actually ended in 2017. I had a meeting with my boss, as we do regularly. I had all my notes about the projects I wanted to pursue, and we had a nice chat in the conference room. However, he was being very evasive. He had been evasive and grouchy the past couple of weeks, and I didn't know what was going on, so I just continued to do my job duties. Later that day, he stopped me in the hall and said, "I need to tell you something." He told me they were making cuts and that my whole department, including me, was being let go. I heard what he said, but in my mind, I was like, "Excuse me? I don't think I heard you correctly. What are you talking about? Where did this come from?" It was that initial shock. He told me this news the day before the official announcement. He wanted me to know, but I couldn't tell anybody. The next day, we met with the CEO and people from human resources. Of course, people in the department were suspicious of the meeting because they didn’t understand why they were meeting with us. As they shared the news, one woman was sobbing, and I think I was still in shock. I really couldn't believe what was happening.
Management devised a plan to stagger the layoffs in the production department. Two other directors and I were asked to stay the full nine months to help transition the people taking over our work. Of course, there was a bonus for staying longer. I thought, "Okay, fine. I'll take it if you want to kick me out and give me more money." The announcement was then made to the office.
I was 62 when I was laid off, and I told the VP of human resources, "You're killing me. Do you really think anybody will hire me at 62 so that I can retire at 65? What the hell are you doing to me? You couldn't find anything for me to stay on with the company? This is nuts." So, she worked on my case and went to bat for me. She got me more money for the severance package because she talked about my age, and they also covered my medical benefits. I would not have such a good package if I didn't have her in my corner.
It was hard in those months to go to all these meetings and try to explain who I was, doing a job without a position, and what I did. My department was being praised, especially me. I was being very good. I wasn't angry. I was just so disappointed because I thought I would retire from there. I had a great job. I had the history. I worked my way up. I paid my dues like everybody else, and we had a great department. We were so united, and we were so good together.
I was not going to leave on a bad note. I always had my reputation, which needed to stay that way. So, I wanted to avoid approaching it with sour grapes. Especially because I was in a higher age bracket, and it was a little more difficult to find another job at my age. I had to fight for everything I had. I was going to go out with my head held high. I'm not going to tell you there weren't days that I didn't want to go to work or think it was five to five and I could leave for the day. In the end, I was responsible for the group’s work; I was the head of the department. I had to make sure things were completed, and information was communicated. I couldn't let people down.
My transition and transformation:
At that time, I wasn't angry and didn't know why. Every day I went to work, I would see people, and they would give me this long face and say I'm so sorry, and I should talk to the CEO. Tell him how much my skills are needed. The reality was that the management group that made this decision just saw it as a group making money and a block of people that could be eliminated. They decided the company could save a lot of money if they transferred responsibilities and work to less experienced people. I got scared as I got closer to the date we had to leave. I had to keep it together for the other two people coming in. It always came back to how I was reacting to the situation. How was I holding it together? I just wanted to be a good example. I never wanted to allow anybody to say, "You see?" That's why. Because it wasn't based on work or behavior, it was a matter of saving money. It was a financial decision, not a performance decision. Ultimately, they didn't save the money they wanted or thought they would save. Something like this makes you realize how connected you are to the community you work with. You spend more time with those people than you do with people at home. Then, when you're not part of that group or that community, you feel like somebody's pulled your heart out of your chest. Where do I belong now?
Once the severance package was over, it was done, I was no longer associated with my former company. That was not easy to deal with. My husband had to file for social security because one paycheck was not enough. Then somebody recommended me for a freelance job two days a week. I interviewed and got the job, meaning I would go into Manhattan twice a week. I was so used to going into the city and feeling the energy of it. Since I was in publishing, if you're out of a job, the Bookbinders' Guild of New York lets you attend the monthly meetings, and they don't charge you a membership fee. So I could go and feel like I belonged to something. Fortunately, my two-day-a-week job turned into a full-time job.
My advice to others:
Make sure you have a community. Make sure that people know who you are because people will recommend you if something opens up in another company. If people don't know you, if you're invisible, how can somebody recommend you? And even if it is a crappy job, it's still a job with health benefits. The first message is to start. If you’ve been laid off, don't wait. Get yourself involved. It doesn't have to be that you have to be active in everything. If there's a trade group or some group, get involved. People will know who you are. The second thing is you have to lean on people you know. You never know who will help you and where this help will come from. People want to help; you don't have to do this alone.
I love what I do and the business I'm in. However, after this experience, I realized that this new job has a different sense of priority than before. I'm okay with leaving at 5 o'clock. I don't have to make all the difficult decisions now because I'm not the head of the department. The person I work for takes all the management aggravation.
For somebody going through this, who is around my age, in the same place in your career, you have to take a step back. If you keep pushing yourself the way you were pushing previously, you won't get anywhere. People are not listening to you. It's a humbling experience because you have to say, "Okay. My experience and work history are not worth as much as I thought they were. But they are. It is worth a lot, but you have to get somebody to listen to you to make that impression. It’s about communication. If the person you're interviewing with is tuned out, I don't care who you are; they won't listen. Your message is not getting across. So, step back. Take a deep breath and say, "I know how to do this. I'm good at what I do. This is how I can do this, and this is how I can help your company." And yeah. You may miss the first time out. And it could be a regular experience until you see its rewards. The reward is that you get to go home at 5:00. You don't have the aggravation. You also don't have the salary, and that's much harder to deal with.
I never thought I'd get to this point. I thought I would be okay. You have to take it one day at a time. You need someone to listen to you because you want to rant and rave. You want to tell everybody and shout from the rooftops that you're qualified and great, and why won't you hire me? They will only hire what they see on paper, getting past the pre-conceived impressions. That's the first hurdle. And then, you actually have to get in the door. And that's not so easy.
Moving forward:
I am okay. Now that I can work from home, my life is much easier. This might not have been what I pictured for myself, but I landed someplace where I get to do what I love. I'll say it again: the working-from-home thing is a big deal. Timing is everything in life. It took me a while to get where I am now. I was not happy. I went through the motions because I needed to do that to stay sane. I believe I’ve done this with grace and tremendous appreciation for what I have, and I never compromised myself along the way. I stayed true to who I am.
Where are they now?
Almost eight years later, Judy is still at the same job and enjoying it very much. She is happy to be working full-time in an industry she still very much enjoys and with people she respects.
